Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be filled with evils, cause misery, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness issue, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married man date.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned typically though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can turn the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your spouse or anyone else? You will need to reduce the risk you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest grouping, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a frequent cause I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is gone, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown apart, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair